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“But it is you, my close friend”

By Cindy McDermott

Gabriel, an angel of God, appeared to Mary, a virgin, and told her that she would be with child and give birth to Jesus, the Son of the Most High, who would reign forever. “Greetings,” he said, “you who are highly favored!”

I wonder if Mary ever repeated those words to herself, as an encouragement. Mary was a virgin, and it would have been a disgraceful thing in Israel to be pregnant before her marriage. We know that her relative Elizabeth understood what was happening and received Mary with great joy and words of blessing. But I wonder if that was the typical response Mary received. After all, it took a dream from God to convince Joseph not to divorce her. How did her family react, and the members of her Jewish community? Did they shun her and regard her a sinful woman?

Those thoughts are purely conjecture, but I’ve met many Christians who have felt the bewilderment and sting of opposition from their biological and/or church families. The opposition they face isn’t over matters of right vs. wrong or godly vs. ungodly. Rather, these Christians are following God’s leading in certain areas of their lives with which their families differ in opinion. These issues may be homeschooling, where they go to church, the size of their family, their method of discipline, their material lifestyle, their chosen occupation, the clothes they wear or the foods they eat, and so on. Disputable matters have suddenly become indisputable, breaking hearts and relationships along the way. The sting is great because while as Christians we expect to be ostracized by nonbelievers, we don’t quite expect it from fellow Christians, especially those of our own blood household. Too well do these Christians understand David when he wrote: “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.” (Psalm 55:12-14)

While the sting is understandable, the bewilderment isn’t. Christ talked about this opposition at length in Matthew 10. He said, “A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!” (vs.24-25) At one time Christ’s earthly brothers didn’t believe him. His family thought He was crazy. It was His family of the Jewish faith who condemned Him to death. If Christ endured such opposition from His earthly and religious families, why would we think that as His followers we wouldn’t face the same?

But Jesus made it even clearer. “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me…” (vs.21-22a) and, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ ” (vs. 34-36) Elsewhere Jesus said, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” (Matt.13:57) So we should not be surprised when we face disagreement and opposition from those in our own family or our own church.

Dealing with it is often easier said than done. But we shouldn’t let fear take hold of us. “So do not be afraid of them…Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell…And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” I doubt most Christians feel physically threatened, but the fear may take some other form. But we cannot let that deter us from the road and work God has set before us. Shrinking back in fear would not be pleasing to our heavenly Father. We are to love God above all else – even above what those close to us think. Again Jesus said, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (vs. 37-38) This is serious business. The question is set before us: who do we love more: God or man? Is our families’ approval more important to us than following God?

If we choose to be faithful, it will surely be rewarded. “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.” (vs.32-33) We will not be forgotten, but proudly proclaimed to be His followers. Jesus also said: “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Our faithfulness will be eternally rewarded.

Most of us have an innate desire to be approved and accepted by those close to us. But how better by far it is to be a workman approved by God.